My Zen Arcade

Wanted: A Movie I Can’t Believe I Watched

Before I go any further, can someone tell me if Angelina Jolie is an idiot? I mean, she has MONEY and doesn’t need to do shit like this so is it possible she’s mildly retarded and just does what she’s told?

First, a few technical issues. The ’super shooting’ thing was silly and annoying. I think the Gun Kata in Equilibrium was much more interesting. The lead looked WAY too much like Toby McGuire. And the voice-over, which I’m OK with as a rule, was done so poorly as to be out and out distracting.

The big problem, though, was the story. I should preface this by saying that a look at Wikipedia shows that this movie bears little in common with the comic.

Now, I understand that, in any teen boy wish fulfillment flick there’s going to be a certain amount of “been there done that”. But did the entire movie have to be a cliche? The the pathetic life, the training, the secret father, the struggle before accepting, the corruption. Seriously, the only moment that was even mildly surprising (and, actually, it was pretty good) was Jolie’s last shot, hell, even the camera was good on that. But outside of that there weren’t many moments I didn’t see coming. And thats sad because when I watch a movie like this, I really try to just let go of everything. I know its going to be light and eye-candy (btw, there were a handful of nice action moments) and escapist. Thats what I want sometimes. But when every scene is so predictable, you start feeling, well, cheated.

Jeez…I really should have just watched Ang Lee’s Hulk, which I accidently got instead of the new one.