Category Archives: Funny

Question: How should I not introduce someone to my product

Me: OK, I think I’ll download DB2 and see whats what.
Me: Here I am at the Download page.  *click* *server error* *repeat a few times*
Me: Poot.  Oh, look, a live customer service rep I can chat with?  How nice.
Customer Service: Waazzup?
Me: Wanna download your toys and play with them.  I [...]

MY ARMY OF DARKNESS

(I think this is as relevant today as it was when I wrote it so many years ago)
so many of you have know me for several years, and may have heard rumor or remark about the following…but I feel that in the interest of science, clarity, and yes, the FUTURE, it is worth formalizing
Babies.
We are [...]

Best Search Ever!!

So, apparently, my blog is the first one to come up when you do a google search for cheerleaders ballbusting
LOVE IT!

Why they cook pig

T: See, thats why I don’t eat pig.  Someone ate pig and now we have swine flu.
Me: No.  You don’t get it from eating pig.  You cook the pig.  That kills any swine flu.
T: Oh, right.  I guess thats why they cook pig.
Me: No, they cook pig because of trichanosis.  You know…the dying and all.
T: [...]

George Will: Conservatives are exactly who the comedians say we are

In short, Will seems to be saying that conservatives are all old white guys in suits with lots of money who are only relevant because of that last bit about the money.  There’s no shortage of humor here:
George F. Will – America’s Bad Jeans – washingtonpost.com
Seventy-five percent of American “gamers” — people who play video [...]

Glenn Beck: How can it be bad if its natural?

Other natural things that are poisonous: black widow venom, arsenic, Julia Roberts
Dear Glenn, you are a moron.Glenn Beck: Clueless About Photosynthesis | Politicususa.com
In the midst of urging his listeners to cut down old trees for Earth Day, Glenn Beck argued that carbon dioxide is not poison. Beck asked, “How can carbon dioxide be poison when [...]

We stand by our polar bear rules

Because before the attack, the policy had been “sure, let’em play with the bears” except at lunch time.  At lunch time it was “only let people play with the bears if they are willing to climb through our fences and jump down the sheer wall and into the water”.Ya gotta have standards at lunch time
Polar [...]

Colbert Report: Jews And Christians are the same age

Seriously, though.  I love Colbert, but I thought this bit was kind of amusing and indicative of a general attitude.
He started out making a joke about a seder for dogs.  And if there are jewish dogs, then soon there will be christian dogs, and then, 700 years later, there will be muslim dogs.  Of course, [...]

From the “Things I Did All The Time With Booze” Files

I have no doubt that my friends will see this and think “Hey, didn’t he used to constantly order the ‘Pizza That Makes Me Sick’ pizza?”Neuroscientists in Brooklyn successfully erase memories with drugs
They have also successfully made the rats forgot about their distaste for a substance that had previously made them sick.

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I do so love me some Glen Beck

Beck just said that the reason no marines have shown up to deal with the current pirate crisis is political correctness.
And now he’s mocking the French (which I enjoy as well, but hey…)
And now bringing it all back to hating Islam.
Also, his guest supporting his stance on pirates just said that he sees all chinese [...]