My Zen Arcade

“I Eat Your Horny Flesh” by Joel Handloff

So, months and months ago (I probably mentioned this), we were told that the company was looking for a new health insurance provider.  Later, they gave us form to fill out for a provider that starts with A and ends with A.  They said it was to help the A-A come up with an estimate.  [...]

Sorry, been gone for a while.  Spent a lot of time swinging back and forth between blinding rage and abject apathy.
That said, I love my new iPhone 3GS.  The internet speed is insane.  A few days ago, we were having WiFi issues and switching to the 3G network was much better.  With Edge, it was [...]

So, something has been going on in twitter called microfiction or nanofiction or whatever. Stories in 140 characters. Surprisingly, there’s actually paying publications for it. Anyhow, last week, 5 of my stories ran (and one before) on PicFic.
PicFic Galley

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T: See, thats why I don’t eat pig.  Someone ate pig and now we have swine flu.
Me: No.  You don’t get it from eating pig.  You cook the pig.  That kills any swine flu.
T: Oh, right.  I guess thats why they cook pig.
Me: No, they cook pig because of trichanosis.  You know…the dying and all.
T: [...]

I think this is a fantastic listDead Simple Guide to Beating Procrastination | Zen Habits
1. First make sure you really, really, really want to do it. Seriously – don’t skip this step.2. Keep things simple – don’t mess with tools, formatting, anything, just start.3. Make it the first thing you do today, before checking email [...]

It always starts with monkey’s spreading a virus…Monkeys escape from Ore. primate center, 1st Ld-Writethru, OR – NewsFlash – OregonLive.com
Newman said the monkeys pose little danger because they retreat from humans. Threatened monkeys, however, will bite and their saliva could contain a virus that harms people.

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Some gooses can park!

But some gooses are assholes.

So, I’ve been getting a lot of hits on my posts for generating Oracle SQLLDR control files from excel, and such.
For those of you out there, I’m happy to help y’all out any way I can. VBA is fun, and useful, and the more I do the more I learn. Mostly I focus [...]