“Brian Brown speaks to these people. He has a master’s degree from Oxford, and completed course work for a doctorate in history from UCLA. He shoulders the accusations of bigotry; it’s horrible when people say that your life’s mission is actually just prejudice. He tries to help people see that opposing gay marriage does not make them bigots, that the argument should have nothing to do with hate or fear, and everything to do with history and tradition.

The reason Brian Brown is so effective is that he is pleasantly, ruthlessly sane.”

…

“Brown is confident that if people hear his message, they will believe it. “People already believe it,” he says, “but the issue is so deep-seated that they’ve never had to create an argument for it. Now we have to give people the language to do that.” Create talking points. Help them see. “

Its that we hate women!  Thats much better (btw, the below was snagged from Sadly, No, but its a quote from another article).
the premise: the primary need for marriage is the control of sexual access to women (he actually says this).  So, he wants us to realize that anti-gay marriage people aren’t homophobes or jesus nutjobs.  Instead, they just think women need to be controlled like the pathetic children they are.  The subtext, that all men are rapists and the only thing stopping them is the ‘institution’ of marriage, isn’t particularly complimentary to men either. 

Sadly, No! » A novel objection to gay marriage

Can gay men and women be as generous as we straight men are? Will you consider us as men who love, just as you do, and not merely as homophobes or Baptists? Every day thousands of ordinary heterosexual men surrender the dream of gratifying our immediate erotic desires. Instead, heroically, resignedly, we march up the aisle with our new brides, starting out upon what that cad poet Shelley called the longest journey, attired in the chains of the kinship system–a system from which you have been spared.

If my arguments against Card’s position seem less-than-rational, less-than-reasonable, its because the arguments he uses, and all those like him use, are completely irrational.  Every example is flawed and the very core idea, that marriage has always been exactly as it is now, is simply incorrect.  Oh, and the desire to overthrow any government that says otherwise is nuts.

So make no mistake, these people don’t care about rational thought.  They care about following text in a book written by men long ago (though, more recently in the case of Mormons…) attributed to a being whose existence can neither be verified nor disproven.  Further, in the case of Mormons, their views on marriage can’t be taken seriously in the first place given the incredibly strong current of misogyny present in their ‘culture’.

The very best you can hope for is to convince them that government shouldn’t be defining marriage.  But anything else and you might as well be talking to my laptop.  Both are nicely programmed.

Like many of us out there, My Zen Arcade has been talking about this for a while now, but Pandagon has a nice little compilation of items. 
pandagon.net – these things don’t just blame themselves