Guest Post by MoleWife

So I just finished watching the pilot episode of Glee.  It is a terribly hokey show in the finest traditions of 80’s underdog movies — the only thing it didn’t have is a training montage, and I’m SURE that’s coming.  But it had everything else:

1. Tiny (6-person) underfunded, under-appreciated collection of misfits drawn together by their talent and love of music?  Check.
2. Handsome, popular teacher struggling to keep said glee club alive?  Check.
3. Evil, popular, well-funded football team and cheerleading squad?  With associated evil, territorial, elitist, conformist and ball-busting coaches?  Check.
4. Incredibly talented and well-funded competition doing extreme production numbers to popular songs while we see our misfits rehashing Grease?  Check.
5. Inspiring female friend of glee club teacher who teaches him to follow his passion instead of going for money?  Check.
6. Inspiring journey of hot football player who decides he won’t let conformity and peer pressure keep him away from his love of music?  Check.
7. End on inspiring 80’s song (Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’)?  Check.

And the flip side:

1. “Misfit group” comprises aforementioned football player, beautiful diva pursuing fame at all costs, one disabled boy in a wheelchair, one Asian girl, one African-American Girl (who together make up apparently 66% of the POCs in the entire town) and one gay boy?  Check.
2. Gay kid and disabled kid bullied in completely approved ways?  Check.
3. POC in glee club sassy, fat, and hip?  Check.
4. Gay boy loves his designer clothing and sings soprano?  Check.
5. Inspiring teacher’s wife a lazy, shrill, gold-digging bitch who complains of having to work three 4-hour shifts a week and only wants more THINGS? Check.
6. Other female characters the aforementioned diva (raised by two gay dads, see what happens to you?), emasculating ball-busting cheerleading coach, and pretty young female friend teacher who cries to herself in car over love of hot inspiring male teacher, and hot cheerleader who is head of the celibacy club and bursts into prayer during makeout sessions?  Check.
7. Only other POC in the whole episode an apparently Hispanic worker at a TV “linen’s & things” who is comedically too clumsy and stupid to fold sheets?  Check.

Not to mention that the original glee club teacher is fired for molesting a singing student in an absolutely HYSTERICAL way — see, he was stroking the gay boy’s chest to give him encouragement, and the diva was pissed because he gave the solo to the gay boy SHE should have gotten, so she ratted him out to the principle and AREN’T WOMEN SCHEMING AND UNDERHANDED???

And our sassy fat black chick gets approximately three token lines in the whole episode.  Enough for us to know SHE is BEYONCE, not a BACKGROUND singer.  But she’ll meekly fall back into line for “just this one song.”  But that beats out our Asian chick, who gets one line and a “we’ll figure out what you’re good for” at the very end.** The gay and disabled boys can, quite frankly, sing circles around our hot football player, but they aren’t capable of keeping up vocally with our Diva, for some reason.  And the “next on Glee” preview shows us the shrill bitchy wife lying about being pregnant in order to manipulate her husband to get a job as a CPA instead of a teacher so she can have THREE MAHOGANY TOILET PAPER HOLDERS from Pottery Barn, because Dr. Phil says there’s nothing wrong with wanting THINGS.

And don’t even get me started on the gay ex-teacher as pedophile, or how molesting a student is FUNNY, SEE?

I will probably watch the show.  I’m a sucker for underdog stories and large musical production numbers of any variety.  And this was just a pilot, and there’s a chance the characters will be developed as something other than caricatures.  But some days I honestly have to ask if all TV studios get all their ideas from the Conservative Stereotype Vending Machine(TM).

**Oh, I just read the Asian girl is supposed to be a lesbian.  Clearly, this was indicated by her singing “I kissed a girl” for her audition, since she had no other lines or displayed any evidence of being attracted to women.